The psychological Aspect of fatherlessness in a Daughter and how to Cope with it

It is very important for a family to have a male figure, not only to maintain a healthy way of living and a head that would look after the whole family, who would extend the shoulder and lend a hand whenever any family member needs him but also to give the family members the peace of mind that is required to have a thriving happy family.The psychological Aspect of fatherlessness in a Daughter

But it has been shown in a result that almost many paternal heads walk out of the family, be it before the birth of a child or after the birth of a child, leading a woman to raise a child on her own. Even though the mother tries to fill in the shoes of the father too in the household lives, there remains a vacancy that takes a toll on the kids.

It takes the psychological toll on the daughters especially because daughters share a special bond with their fathers. So the leaving or walking out of the father figure from the lives of the daughter creates an effect of an absent father on daughter which keeps on culminating and manifesting into something nasty.

In this article, we will discuss how an absentee father can cause mental turmoil in the lives of the daughter and many implications of it.

Why is the presence of a father important in the lives of their child?

A family that has grown to be fatherless can give birth to so many complications that would only bring the mindset of the family down. It not only creates issues in the mind of the partner but also the children too because it creates an issue that leaves a deep dark scar on your mentality and psychology.

It has been proven that what we think is what we are we are nothing but a faculty of our own thoughts. It is our own psychological perception that holds the authority of our own being. Surrounding creates our own lives. If we continue to have a positive surrounding, then it will only create positivity in our lives. It means positive surroundings have the capacity to create a positive mindset for the household.

So if a person who is the very heart of the house, leaves, imagine how badly affected the whole family will be? The partner will definitely be devastated but imagine what a child must go through. Father is the most important part of the family. They have to be physically and mentally present so that a child, be it a son or daughter, can understand that they have someone on whom they can rely on.

Someone who would have their back lest the fall. Father is known as the backbone of the family if the backbone is gone, it would manifest negatively and bear negative effects. That is why it is important for the father to stick around.

What happens when the father leaves?

So when a father leaves, it is pretty much devastating. If not it shatters the dream of many children who think of sharing the first dance at their wedding or practicing baseball with their dad but also crushes their soul as they will be subjected to endless scrutiny of not having a father. A fatherless life will culminate into fatherless daughter syndrome into the lives of a daughter and it is the daughter that takes the toll most effectively because of the closeness they share.

The fatherless life could lead to a life where the person who is affected will have to deal with many issues, but the first one that will definitely get them more is the loneliness as the backbone is missing. One needs support to stand and if that support is gone then the fear of falling down culminates into the mind of the daughter.

They will feel hopeless and anxious but too afraid to ask for help because of the deep-seated trust issue. This feeling of loneliness gives birth to many effects. This feeling of loneliness and the issues that are manifested because of it are effects of growing up without a father. These effects will only manifest the syndrome further.

What are the effects of not having a father?

The effect of not having a father can give birth to so many insecurities that won’t end. The insecurities and the culmination of having a fatherless life will lead to many lacks. All of them are psychological effects of growing up without a father, be it on a son or a daughter. These psychological issues will be discussed here at lengths.

• Anxiety:

It is the job of a parent to be there for their children. So when a person is the backbone of the children, leaves, it leaves them scarred for life as they cannot think of anything because the person that they thought would be there for them has left even after promising them. It causes their trust issue, depression, and anxiety.

They become anxious about doing anything. They think they don’t have anyone backing them up so they don’t know what is wrong or right. Every step they take makes them anxious as they doubt their actions. It further culminates in a lack of confidence and self-esteem as they cannot trust their own judgment. They tend to be even anxious about themselves.

• Depression:

One of the father abandonment issues on daughter is depression. The fact that they are more often depressed is caused by fatherlessness. Being having to rely on no one causes a perilous effect on the mind of the daughter. It makes them judge their own being. They doubt each and everyone and does not feel safe. All these lead to depression.

However, this also leads them into bad relationships where they try to seek the love they are seeking but because of their low self-esteem, they get neglected and less love. The relationships cause more heartache and more problems and make them more prone to depression. A study has shown that most of the depressed children who committed suicide we’re fatherless.

• Trust issues:

Because of being depressed and low self-esteem, they are always on the verge of losing their peace of mind. But that is not all. Because they have been already rejected once, left alone in their time of innocence when they needed them the most, gives rise to a deep-seated trust issue which makes them doubt everything around them.

They cannot trust anyone thinking that person might leave. They cannot trust anyone to have their back. They tend to be independent but suffer from chronic depression because of their loneliness.

• Low self-esteem:

It is one of those issues which affects the daughter severely, causing her to be shallow. The daughter believes that she is not worth it, and it causes her to lose her confidence in her own self which results in self low esteem. One who has a lack of self-esteem tends to end up doing things that would later only make them sad or would only result in depression.

Those people end up doing things to seek approval, seek the love they never get, and in order to do that, they lose their own respect in the eyes of others. This low self-esteem is related to lack of love and this need for love in their lives makes them feel vulnerable and open to being taken for granted.

• Eating disorder:

It has been noted in a published and assessed book that mainly the daughter of a fatherless family has chances of suffering from Nervosa, binge-eating, body dysmorphia, anorexia, bulimia, and other eating disorders, they may overeat or not eat at all. The psychological issue is that there is an emptiness in their life which is hard to fill.

The emptiness they try to fill up with eating. This is known as “father hunger”. They keep believing “my dad doesn’t want me in his life and that is why he left”. Similarly, They try to assess their own body and body shape thinking if they were slim enough, then maybe they would gain the affection of their father. All these could lead up to either eating less or more.

• Addiction:

According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, it has been noted that children who are fatherless can be prone to addiction. They tend to indulge in addictive drugs such as heroin, cocaine, meth, and many more. All the other lack of father figure effects on daughters and culminates into addiction as they find this addiction as a way of relief, almost an escape from the pain.

According to Sigmund Freud, a child who has a problem during their anal phase tends to turn to addiction to let off their pain as they think they cannot be understood by anyone. Their depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and eating disorder all direct them toward addiction.

How do absent fathers effects on daughter’s relationships?

Truth to be told, the effect of the father is not there for their children can cause anxiety, depression, lack of self-esteem, lack of confidence which further pushes them into forming an eating disorder, being turned into an addict, and even could cause them to commit suicide. But this is not everything.

They are scarred for life because they are unable to form any meaningful relationship. According to Carl Jung, each girl is hoarding Electra complexes, which means they tend to find sexual gratification in the image of their father which sometimes mirrors their partner. So when a fatherless daughter comes into a relationship, they cannot form a good relationship because they don’t know how to react to it.

They would reflect the same way as they would have received but if they didn’t get that loving treatment, how would they react? growing up without a father creates an emptiness which is reflected in their relationship too. They tend to judge, get anxious, depressed about the relationship.

It has been noted that those who were in a toxic relationship have father issues. Another implication is that they seek approval, they seek love which makes them vulnerable, and low on self-esteem.

They get into a relationship where they are not valued and are taken for granted which further deepens their pain and scar of not being loved. This creates trust issues and they almost seem to struggle to form a loving, healthy relationship.

How to get over not having a father?

Your father being not there for you can be of three types, he can be physically absent, he can be emotionally absent or he could be both physically and emotionally absent. Physical absence means he is not there for you when you need him the most, mentally absence means not being there when you cannot emotionally and mentally feel like moving on, and the worst kind of absence is the one where both of this culminates into one.

It is normal, in that case, to think that you cannot do it. Many kids tend to think “wish I didn’t have a dad” when their father is either mentally or physically absent. But if you feel that absence in your life, let me assure you, you can get over it.

Emotionally absent fathers’ effects on daughters could lead you to believe that you are unloved, unworthy. It can be taken care of. All you need to do is take help from a grief counselor and a therapist. Some deep-seated issues which can be easily misplaced and the grief of being left alone by the person who you thought will be there for you could only be negated and canceled out if you could just face the facts.

The counselor and the therapist will help you unravel the mysteries to loving your own self, accepting your own body. It will put your messed up thoughts into coherently expressed emotions.

Conclusion:

It might seem that you cannot do it anymore but you will be loved and cherished by yourself alone. Fatherlessness is a serious issue but you can get over it.